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There's all sorts of reasons why one wouldn't feel "at home" in any city, but I feel like the reasons why one wouldn't feel at home within the four walls of what they call "home" -- whatever the city -- are pretty limited. By that I mean that I could live in any city in the world -- Bombay, for example, where I don't feel at home -- but it still is possible for me to feel at home in my apartment.

I haven't felt at home anywhere in India in a long, long time, but I haven't felt at home in my own apartment in Bombay either, which concerns me. But long ago, I did feel at home in my earlier apartment. In thinking about this, I realized that what changed was the number of hours this apartment feels like a public space: a couple of hours during the day by the maid, and later in the afternoon by the cook. Home doesn't feel private and cozy anymore.

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good point! that's one of the reasons i can't stand servants - i just hate having outsiders in my house. i've compromised by having someone come in once a week and swab the floors (the one job i *really* don't want to do myself), and even then i'm twitchy till she goes away.

Don't worry dude, you'll get used to that. I didn't have any domestic help at home throughout my childhood and then for 6-7 years in employment but it didn't take too long to get used to people coming in to do some stuff.

You should try not to lose a sense of perspective, really. I mean, yeah, it could be a bit discomforting initially but going all the way out and saying you don't feel "at home" because of a couple of hours when you have a visitor at your place and then trying to construct cause-effect analysis of this seemingly unnatural phenomenon doesn't really help. Maintain your sense of perspective.

It's actually more than a couple of hours. And since I'm at home most of the day it affects me more. Maybe less so for you because you're at work during work hours?

We don't let anyone in while we're out. So on a typical weekday, out of the 6-7 waking hours that I spend at home, about 2.5 hours are in the presence of someone doing something around.

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